MY FIRST REPORT

I’ve got my first report back from my mentor. It came last night while we were watching The Dark Knight on the hotel’s big screen. I wasn’t much interested in Batman but in the spirit of being sociable … once my Blackberry flashed and I saw it was from my mentor that was it. Husband said ‘You’d better text me and let me know if it’s safe to come upstairs.’

So what was it like?

I have a good eye for detail. This works for and against me: I have to learn when to desist from shovelling more and more on with a spade. Less is more.

Sometimes I write with ‘great verve’ and sometimes I try too hard and it sounds ‘pedestrian.’ *winces* I wonder if I can work out which passages are which.

If I cannot come up with a simile or metaphor which says, with originality, exactly what I want it to say, I shouldn’t use one. When I have come up with a corker, I should desist from shovelling more and more on with a spade. I should also abstain from repeating myself when I think I’ve said something clever!

My main character needs more work. My more minor characters are shaping up nicely.

My dialogue is on the whole strong. I have a good ear for the way people talk at cross purposes and fail to finish sentences. My long dialogue scene between Marina and Jean is excellent, and Marina’s response is totally believable.

My mentor enjoyed my story. She thought it was a good read with the promise of some really good conflict. She is interested in the characters and wants to know what will become of them.

So very useful: assuming I can identify the pedestrian from the ‘great verve.’ It would be absolutely typical of me to edit out all the great verve and leave in the dull. My other main concern is the development of the main character.