Trademark

I am going to make a 'Mother Audio Recording.' I think it might make my fortune. I am going to hook up speakers to all the rooms here in our apartment at The Towers and I shall carry a remote control unit in my pocket.

On the remote control unit I will be able to select whichever answer is required to a variety of questions. They might include, but will not be exclusive to the following questions:

• Why do we have to do homework the minute we get home?


• Why do we have to do homework? – It’s the weekend.


• Can we have ‘Friends’ on while we eat dinner?


• Why must I do French homework when there isn’t any set by my teacher?


• Can’t I pack my school bags in the morning?
  

I think pressing buttons will be so much less effort than saying it all again and again and again and again…

PS I have fitted the Mother Audio Recording (trademark) with sighs and tuts for authenticity. There will of course be a range of volumes, from gentle and nurturing to full blown lost-it-shriek.

Unearthing memories

Segueing neatly from yesterday’s post about my sense of humour – or lack thereof – I found this while I was rooting through some of my old papers.





















Sadly, it’s not dated but I’m guessing I drew it circa 1997. I’m basing this guess on the age of the children… who aren’t mine at all. (My two kids did not have curly hair and no hair, respectively. Clearly the woman isn’t me either since she has sensible hair. We may have shared the white knuckles though.)

The minute that I stopped work - let’s call it 'conventional' work - where I’m paid a salary to go into an office… I searched around for a way of making some money that didn’t involve being told what to do by anyone else. Writing is just an extension of that. Cartooning was one idea but it was a small problem that I couldn’t be funny to order. I think I drew less than ten in total before abandoning that idea.

Please send any other career ideas on a postcard, care of TeaStains.