I was delighted to see six friends and Novel Racers had been selected: Leigh Forbes; Deborah Carr; Jenny Maltby; Helen Redfern; Kate Kingsley; Zinnia Cyclamen.
I am trying very hard to develop a thicker skin as I type because I wasn’t selected, but a tiny weeny piece of me is relieved that my horrible piece of writing never needs to see the light of day. Just to torment myself I went back and reread it this morning.
I went through all the usual reactions: shouting at Husband that his bloody alarm clock was going off loudly and enthusiastically while he snoozed on; self loathing; desiring to give up; wondering why I was doing this; deciding that I was shit; deciding that I was wasting money; apologising to Husband; big fat sloshy tears; feeling relieved that this horrible piece of writing wasn’t going to represent me; wondering what in god’s name I could do if I wasn’t ‘trying to write’ (probably the most depressing thought because I’m clean out of ideas.)
Anyway, despite the wallowing in self pity, I can’t quit just yet because I’ve got a cursin’ deadline tomorrow, and a pile of crap writing to knock into shape.
