Dear Lord ...

I’ve been opening up my WIP, finding my place - which is still about half way through the funeral – and finding myself in desperate need to do anything else. I’ve been doing that for about 4 or 5 days. Harrumph.

Now that I’ve recognised what I’m doing (because I was in denial for a few days) I am determined to push through. Although I’ve still gone off to make more tea than I want to drink, and then rewarded my four new words with a game of Bejewelled. The problem is I’m getting my knickers in a twist about the various parts of the funeral: the gathering; readings and sermon; prayers; commendation and farewell; the Committal and the Dismissal. They all sound straightforward, but not all of the prayers in my reference material need to be used. And if someone does a tribute … where in the service does it come? And when the vicar does a sermon … is that about the dead person or something else entirely?

The lovely vicar at home gave me lots of help, and I’ve got photocopies of things and handwritten notes which made loads of sense at the time… He’s very kindly told me I could email him, which I’ve already done to thank him and I included three more questions and in addition he’s told me he’d happily read it. But, well, I don’t want him to harrumph at me for asking too often, too much, or whatever. And it’d be better for me if he can read it all … not part way through. (Though I think I probably shouldn’t include the filthy swearword at the end of the chapter…)

Anyway, I am pushing through … in between Bejewelled; tea and mineral water and lots of weeing …

Now that I am actually making progress, I’ve got another problem: I’m accursed in my head with the hymn ‘Dear Lord and Father of Mankind, Forgive our Foolish ways!’ Here, go and listen. It would be much better for me if it was in your head and not mine.

Taking regular breaks

It’s alarming how much time I have accumulated on Bejeweled: just the odd game here and there. (It’s just a cold, I could give up anytime I want).

The problem is that I can’t kid myself: Bejeweled keeps excellent records.

Just recently I’ve swapped laptops, and so I’ve reset those records. BUT the records still exist on the old laptop … I’ve just been to check them. OMG.

I have earned the title: Legendary jeweler
(Is this my skill, or the amount of time I’ve spent on the game?)

My best score: 1,379,550
(Yay, husband can’t get close)

Gems collected: 680, 945
(Shame they’re not real)

Biggest Cascade: x9
Biggest Combo: 94,408
Power Gems created: 19,408
Hyper Cubes created: 1,042
(blah blah blah)

This is where it gets a bit shocking:

Total Time Played: 130 hours 2 minutes. (OH MY GOD) That’s nearly five and a half days… (Really filthy, sailor type language ensues)

So I’ve been feeling quite sick about this. I mean, I know it wasn’t consecutive days (it wasn’t, honest) but really…

However, today, I was just having a quick game (of Bejeweled, obviously) before starting to plan my plot (which I still haven’t done this week) when I got a stonking, but stonking great idea in my head for a short story. I’ve written down the story so I don’t forget it.

I’ve been reading Tony Buzan’s “The Power of Creative Intelligence” and he says "Surprisingly, whole-brain thinking demands that if you are going to be fully and truly creative, you must take regular breaks.” I knew this all along.

“Think about it: where are you when you come up with those bursts of imagination…those great fantasies and daydreams?” He then lists 12 places/times where your mind is relaxed, and okay, none of them specifically mentioned ‘Bejeweled’ but the principle is definitely the same.

So there.

And it’s the second time this week. The same thing happened on Monday while I was playing Bejeweled, and I wrote down the bones of that story too.

All the time I have been worrying about procrastination and not being motivated to use the time available to me and there I was doing what I needed to do: to allow both sides of my brain to talk to each other…

I went back this morning and reread some of my early blog. All I wanted to do was write: I hadn’t set amounts or totals or goals, I just wanted to write because I need to. I don’t honestly know if I need to be published, but I do know I need to write. Every Friday I feel disappointed in not having done more novel, but I am writing and it is all I wanted. I have got to give myself a break… So that’s another game of Bejeweled, for me then.