Not the Boomtown Rats

I am feeling very jolly today.

I like Mondays. I think it might be a hangover from my art college days when I attended part time on Mondays and Tuesdays. How I loved the end of the weekend so I could get into college and make things.

It’s still utter selfishness that I like the start of the week. (Shhh, it’s because I can go back to writing and not thinking about family again until the end of the day.)

I’m also cheerful because the Computer Studies coursework was done. At least I think it was. I am told it was. I refuse to chase it up and look at every piece of paper. I have to remind myself it is NOT my homework. I will help and support; answer questions, ask my friends and family for specialist knowledge but I will not make myself sick with worry.

I am excited because another Novel Racer is coming to Bangkok and I hope to meet up for coffee. I love the Novel Racers… what a wonderful community (and wider community) we’ve created.

I'm cheerful because Daughter's gym went really well yesterday; and because GAP is coming to Thailand in March. I'm a fickle one - that makes me really happy.

I have been sorting out the travel pieces and one of the troublesome pieces is coming together in my head. I am seeing the shape so I'm off now to begin writing it.

Operation Cheer Up: in conclusion

I woke up feeling much less melancholy on Sunday. I’m still a bit disappointed, but hey, it doesn’t stop me writing does it?

Operation Cheer Up concluded with some self diagnosis:

• That I require a Sunday roast … so we went off to our local, The Londoner.
• That I need to watch Tootsie again. In the event, it was the thought of watching it that helped with the therapy.
• That this should be accompanied by chocolate. Okay, this one was more than just thought about. This one was literally executed!
• Following lunch I went with Husband for a foot massage at a place along our road. I had an hour’s foot massage, quite the best, most blissful one I’ve ever had, for the grand total of 100 Thai Baht/£1.60/$2.90 (plus tip.)

So I think that's it now: wallowing over. Thank you for your kind words and virtual hugs. They were very much appreciated.

Julia says ... Part II

I’d like to say Happy Holidays to everyone: not because I’m being politically correct but because I didn’t manage to get online to make it a timely Christmas wish to you all. I appear to have missed Christmas. I phoned home, blinked and it was gone.

I’ve now caught up with all my favourite blogs, but left very few messages – normal service will be resumed in the New Year.

Julia read the last of my manuscript (gulp). It was horrible to hand over something that I know was so rough and flawed (I’d stalled so often) but it was essential as she has pinpointed exactly why I keep stalling.

A couple of points:

• I’ve made Bangkok my main character … when it has to be in the background and the characters in the foreground.
• I still haven’t made decisions about plot … this is so pathetic because I’ve known this all along, but hoped the subconscious writing fairy would come and put it right. She won’t. The bitch hasn’t shown up, so now I’ve got to do it.
• It was too episodic – I wrote it in episodes because I had no idea where or how to decide where the plot was going.
• I need to think about containing it in time. Again, I knew I was confused about this. Months and months ago I’d printed out a grid to fill in a time plot, but guess what? With no decisions about plot, I couldn’t do it!

I felt a bit wobbly after all this, despite the fact that I knew lots of it. After our meeting, I went somewhat shakily on a trip to a mangrove forest. Lovely M kept asking me if I was okay. Yes I told him, yes, fine. I was wearing my sunglasses and staring out of the minibus window.

Of course, I didn’t think of any of the good things she said (there weren’t any in my mind at that time). I wondered about giving up – no wonder I found it so hard – I was crap and didn’t know what I was doing. I’d spent a year trying to write a book, and I still needed to start back at the beginning. I don’t know what I’m doing still …

I went off in a boat along the mangrove waterways. I’d wangled my way into the last boat with co-Skyros folk, but not those I’d become friends with, so I didn’t need to chat. I had a little think, and fought off some tears. I didn’t have any moment of clarity or anything but after the trip, I bought a diet coke and the group pottered about before getting back on our minibus. I sat back down in my seat in the rear by the window, and I suddenly felt okay again. I felt fairly cheerful; reasonably optimistic and ready to give it another go.

So the good things were: good, very naturalistic dialogue; lots of interesting BACKgrounds; fascinating subject matter because I’ve done something interesting; I can write; she likes my style; I write clearly without trying to be over clever.

And, bless the lovely Julia… she says I can email her my rewritten chapter one!!!

Feeling cheerier

Thank you lovely blog friends for your comments and emails. Here are some cheerful Thai pictures to show I am feeling happier.

Tomorrow I am going to the Chao Phraya river which reminds me why I love Bangkok.

See you soon.