When do you open your presents?

When Husband was growing up, his family adopted the Christmas customs of their close friends who were Danish.  They had a special meal on Christmas Eve and then they opened their presents.

It was nice when we were ‘going out’ because I could spend the evening of the 24^th with his family and at the crack of dawn on 25^th I could hare around the M25 and arrive at my own home and I hadn’t missed anything because my family don’t open presents until after lunch on Christmas Day. (Realistically this could be as late as 3 or 4pm…)

When we got married we spent our early Christmas doing the same thing. I’m sure all parties were delighted there was no ‘them and us’ going on.

But when we had children and had one or two Christmases on our own, we had to negotiate.

So I told Husband, “I’m NOT opening my presents on Christmas Eve; that’s just crazy.” Poor Husband.

We have a special Christmas Eve meal (his tradition) which starts the festivities off early (my family might still be shopping for gifts at this point) and we have a table present (his tradition.) We do the altogether more average present opening after breakfast on the 25^th (more my tradition.) We have the Christmas Creatures (my tradition.)

One of the customs I have willingly adopted from Husband’s upbringing is the family Christmas game. They had a new board game each year and yesterday I went out and bought ours:

Quite an optimistic post, honest.

And today my equilibrium has returned. I feel serene about what will be…

Yesterday Husband and I went to school to see Daughter in Macbeth. Son, who is full of cold didn’t come. (I always feel a cold, in such hideously hot weather, is so wrong.) His not coming meant that Husband and I could talk and it was the Beattie-style Worst Case Scenario planning that has brought me some peace.

The ideal situation is that we stay in Bangkok. I want to stay here but more than my selfishness, Son should finish school here because that would suit him and his personality best. I’ve been online to look at schools in the UK and funnily – or probably not – the school we chose with him at 11 is still the school that looks the best fit now. But we talked about what we could do if that school doesn’t have places. We have a plan… should we need it.

Bangkok is my home. It’s not where I’m from but it is where we’ve made our home for the last five years. Whatever people think about our lives here – that it’s a cushy number or that we’re spoiled – there are tough things about this life; we make sacrifices and face different problems (as well as some of the same) that you do in your home countries. I suspect that you have noticed some of our stresses in recent weeks! My immediate family are here and my books are here; it’s home.

But I am lucky because I have friends in both places; indeed, I have friends all over the world.

If I am made to come home (for that is the lack of control for us) then I will be closer to my elderly parents, I will be able to join friends at book launches, for weekends of laughing and eating. I won’t always have to miss the important occasions in the lives of my friends, my chosen family and both our extended families. I can think about what work I want to do and I can consider doing an MA. (Then I will have the three degrees I’ve longed for and will, forever more, be able to wear glitzy dresses and burst into song: ‘When Will I See You Again?’)

So (some of) the plan is that I shall be home to the UK, as planned, in July. I may be looking for schools; I may not. Then I may come back to Bangkok or I may not but I feel happier about all of this.

Gratuitous picture of beautiful, visual production of Macbeth.

And we're off (again)

Family arrived yesterday in Bangkok and we’re off to the beach today. Sorry, it does seem a bit like I’m always on holiday but see, the UK, lovely though it was… that was a bit of a tour of duty. This is a holiday (with family) and Husband’s coming too so I’m excited.

Being back in Bangkok

Oh, it is lovely to be back.

When I ‘phoned my parents to tell them I had arrived, I could hardly believe I had been at my childhood home, six thousand miles away, just the day before. The only evidence of this strange time travel was my dizziness and the fact that Monday was only a few hours long.

The bit of Monday I did have was a slither of the late afternoon and evening before Daughter disappeared for a sleepover (life goes on even when mum returns from two weeks away.) I caught them up by telling tales from Kent and they told me bits from Bangkok life and then Husband, Son and I watched Slumdog Millionaire. I stayed awake!

Life really began again on Tuesday. Only a couple of hours after getting up, I lay down on my bed ‘to read’ and had to sleep again: horizontal is a very dangerous position to be in after time travel. (Oh my bed! My pillow, oh they are divine and the shower, my mugs…) Having put myself back on UK time with my nap, Daughter and I went shopping and gossiping, past her bedtime… Eek (The shops stay open ‘til 10pm here.)

I do wonder if this culture hopping/time travelling will ever feel normal. Or perhaps it’s me? Am I making it worse by being conscious of it each time I do it in order to keep it alive for my writing?

Still, who cares? It might be odd, but it is lovely to be back.

Beam me up, Scotty

I’m feeling a bit homesick at the moment. I’ve been feeling like this for some time now, so I can’t entirely blame my birthday yesterday, though having messages from everyone has perhaps made my homesickness a bit worse.

Consequently, today, I feel a small pain.

It feels like my lover is missing; my heart hurts a bit (Note: my lover isn’t missing – he’s here, and he’s who you think he is I’m just trying to say how it feels!)

So.

I’d like to be beamed up, please. For a whole weekend if you can manage it.

I’d arrange for my extended family members, on both sides, and my chosen family all to be staying at my folks. It’d be a bit of a squeeze, and very loud, but I think it would be worth it. We could all cook (can you imagine all those cooks in one OV kitchen?)

I’d make Larb Moo, a Thai spicy pork mince salad - fresh mint from the herb garden.
MJ would make veggie.
L could make that artichoke thing for the veggies too.
S or MJ would make yummy salad dressing.
L&A would be in charge of puddings (sugar free one for M&D please)
B wouldn’t cook because he can’t stand sharing a kitchen!
V&I would take control of the alcohol.
V could make dahl.
Granddad could do the meat and bring in new potatoes from the garden (yes, I know it’s October, but this is a dream, right?)
On that note, the weather would be perfect, so we’d eat outside. The children would have a lovely time and not fight and let the adults talk.

I can almost feel myself there.