Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The worst wife in the world

Who knew that a stationery fetish is genetically inherited? Well, whether it’s nature or nurture, our children seem to have got a double dose of it.

After lunch on Sunday we went off to an office supplies shop. I needed A-Z dividers and my life was going to fall apart if I didn’t get them but I’m not sure if anyone else actually needed anything; it was more of a speculative, dribble fest kind of retail opportunity.

But I think it might be a bit of a sickness.

I mean I know we writers all like notebooks and pens and probably some of us would admit to buying post it notes ‘just in case’ not to mention erasers, pencils and paper clips in different colours…

But what worries me… is it normal to get excited about devising and issuing identity cards on lanyards to the family just to get into our apartment? What about having receipts and invoices and carbon paper when we issue our children with their pocket money? And what about a ‘PAID’ stamp in red ink for when we’ve given them their pocket money?

Rubber stamps have nearly caused a war already in The Towers. A couple of years ago Husband purchased a collection of rubber stamps: ‘To Do’ ‘File’ and ‘Shred.’ He put this collection on the hall stand and when he opened the mail he would stamp the paperwork with whatever action he wanted me to carry out.


I know.

So it was nearly Christmas; I plotted and planned. I went out into Bangkok and had something special made for him.

This was it:

It's amazing how quickly those other little stamps disappeared.


Anonymous said...

I love it!

BEAST said...

You are walking on thin ice here JJ.

I/Man2/Husband/BEAST (delete as applicable) do not have a stationary CHEST of drawers. I don't keep or cover old cardboard boxes with sticky backed plastic 'just in case I need to put something in them'. I did not buy a rubber basket in the office shop last weekend 'just because it was orange'. I don't have bull-dog clip collection, a magnetic paper clip holder, a guillotine, a dymo tape printer, an A3 hole punch, an A3 stapler, a heated laminator or a binding machine.

But I do 'DO IT MYSELF' often (fnah fnah), including the shredding, so I don't see why I can't have a "TO SHRED" stamp.

B said...

JJ - HA!!!! love it! :)

BEAST .... why do you need a 'to shred' stamp? why not just have the shredder to hand and put it straight in? Me no comprehenez!

(and i've no idea what language that is supposed to be just in case anyone wonders)

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JJ Beattie said...

Sarah, thank you.

*Sharp intake of breath* Husband! I thought you were busy today? I cannot believe you've outed me and my tin and box obsession aswell. But you know what stationEry I really want? I want one of those things that heat seals plastic bags.

B, because he's a man! Because that would be so obviously the thing to do; and, can you believe it, he just moved the shredder next to the table last weekend. AND, the man has a PhD! Be afraid!

Mike, oh; thank you.

Queenie said...

I think I'm the only writer I know who doesn't have a stationery fetish. Unless you count electronic notebooks. I <3 my ThinkPad notebook computer, probably because I'm so keyboard-dependent. When I found I had to do a three-hour handwritten exam for an OU course the other year, I had to practise writing quite a lot before I did the exam. Honest! And it was gruelling - not the thinking, the physical act of writing! Never again.

Sue Kittow said...

Great stuff JJ!!!

HelenMHunt said...

I love those 'just because' stationery buying expeditions. I have to confess to several carrier bags around the house full of stuff I've bought and then not even unpacked, let alone used.

Lane said...

You have a guillotine!? You are hard core:-)

Carol said...

Hehehe, I remember you telling me about those stamps!!

Long live can never have too much of the stuff!!

C x

SueG said...

God, you make me laugh!! That stamp is fantastic. While the kids were growing up, i always would say the same thing and wish I had made a stamp for it: "Don't you have legs?" But you're a better man than I am, Gunga Din (as they say). And yes, I do have an obsession with pens and pencils and notebooks. Maybe it's just that writers are normally obsessive creatures...

green ink said...

HAHAHAHA!! I love it!!

Fran said...

I love stationery. When my kids were small and we were out shopping, they used to pull on my arm in shops and say, 'Mum, stop stroking the notebooks and pens and come ON!'

Anonymous said...

So much for the paperless office.

Chris Stovell said...

Oooh... the mind boggles (in quite an evil way!!)

SpiralSkies said...

That is quite possibly the best thing I've ever seen in my life. I'm glad you're not my wife though ;0)

Angie said...

JJ, both you and Beast had me in a fit of giggles. That is a great stamp. I think I might need one... :)

JJ Beattie said...

Thanks everyone for your comments. I tell nothing but the truth here! (Eerrrr, so did Husband)

Stefcia said...

At first I thought about asking where I could buy a DIY stamp but then I had second thoughts. When my huband does 'do-it-himself' I find I have double the work clearing up after him. He got a shredder from pa-in-law recently and loves it - but who do you think empties it?!