Sunday, April 18, 2010

Something Nasty in the Woodshed...

I don’t mind bugs and creepy crawlies.

I’m not awfully fond of them jumping out in front of me, dropping onto my shoulder in a surprise attack kind of way or flying into my décolletage accompanied by a buzzing, crackling noise, but in their place, they’re okay.

I just hadn’t quite worked out that the jungle was their place.  I thought perhaps they would know that inside the bamboo room was mine.

Arriving at Chiang Rai airport after the stresses of Bangkok’s Red Shirts I was tense but full of hope for six days peace. Pah!

I had chosen our resort, Phu Chaisai, (Mountain of Clear Heart) because of its proximity to mountains and green tea plantations. Described on the website as a place to reunite “with Mother Nature… “ where guests can rise to the sound of an awakening forest” I still didn’t quite get it.

Back from dinner on our first night I spotted some copulating beetles inside our hut; they didn’t worry me because I could see they had other things on their mind but I requested that Indiana Jones Husband put them outside. They turned out not to be lovemaking beetles, but two piles of poo. (I am a bit short sighted and the lights were low but hell, it was a big pile of crap for small jungly creatures.)

Tucked inside our mosquito net that evening, squeals and buzzing reverberated around our bamboo hut. Frogs quacked like ducks and alien creatures called. The geckos were the funniest though. Was it only us? We were convinced they were swearing at us in a very Lily Allen manner. It became clear that the big pooing creature not only had Tourette's syndrome but it was also dwelling with us in our bamboo hut. It swore loudly all night.

The poo appeared five nights out of the six and the gecko (three metres long, I was guessing by the size of its bowel movements) stayed all six. Frankly, I was too scared to look for it but I was damn glad to get out of there alive.

You can listen to the giant, pooing, gecko sharing our hut here:

11 comments:

Talli Roland said...

Oh my Lord. You are a brave woman! Geckos? I'd be freaking out! I'm sure they're harmless and all, but still...

Leatherdykeuk said...

What a delightfully peaceful you had -- only not this one.

Denise said...

Shiver, that sounds horrid! Hope it's a bit more peaceful when you get back home.

Queenie said...

all NIGHT? Bet you were glad to get home for a rest. I like geckos but I prefer the quiet little Mediterranean ones. Hope Bangkok is calmer than when you left x

Fran said...

Your non-copulating poo made me giggle.

Suzanne Jones said...

I didn't even know geckos made a noise - and what a strange noise.

You're much braver than I am.

XX

Carol said...

Having discovered the noise gecko's make when at Andaman (I thought they sounded a bit like angry ducks!) I empathise with your plight!!

Hope you manage to get a good nights sleep now your home :-)

C x

CC Devine said...

Eeuw - not nice!

The geckos that were in the roof of my hut thingy when I was on Koh Samed were really blooming noisy. Didn't notice any poo fortunately...

Liane Spicer said...

LOL! The gecko should have its mouth scrubbed for using that kind of language.

After a lifetime of having the jungle try to come indoors, it's still startling. Since the rain started a few days ago the slugs are back. Just removed a three incher from my bedroom wall. Reconsidering my habit of leaving the windows open all night.

JJ Beattie said...

Talli, geckos I don't mind - they're much more scared of me than I am of them but... it's the things that aren't nervous of me that make me nervous.

Rachel, quite. *grinning*

Denise, in our apartment, yes, but not on the streets, sadly.

Queenie, yes, ALL NIGHT.

Fran, I am short sighted you see. It can help sometimes when I don't see spiders in the corners!

Suzanne, I've never heard them make quite this noise before.

Carol, thanks.

CC, I'm glad to hear it. I couldn't believe the size of the poo! How big must the gecko have been?

Liane, you are brave. I'm not sure I could live with all these creatures all the time!

Debs said...

I think that sounds so cute - listening to it via the computer. If it was in my room I wouldn't get a wink of sleep and would be a complete wuss.