I don’t mind bugs and creepy crawlies.
I’m not awfully fond of them jumping out in front of me, dropping onto my shoulder in a surprise attack kind of way or flying into my décolletage accompanied by a buzzing, crackling noise, but in their place, they’re okay.
I just hadn’t quite worked out that the jungle was their place. I thought perhaps they would know that inside the bamboo room was mine.
Arriving at Chiang Rai airport after the stresses of Bangkok’s Red Shirts I was tense but full of hope for six days peace. Pah!
I had chosen our resort, Phu Chaisai, (Mountain of Clear Heart) because of its proximity to mountains and green tea plantations. Described on the website as a place to reunite “with Mother Nature… “ where guests can rise to the sound of an awakening forest” I still didn’t quite get it.
Back from dinner on our first night I spotted some copulating beetles inside our hut; they didn’t worry me because I could see they had other things on their mind but I requested that
Indiana Jones Husband put them outside. They turned out not to be lovemaking beetles, but two piles of poo. (I am a bit short sighted and the lights were low but hell, it was a big pile of crap for small jungly creatures.)
Tucked inside our mosquito net that evening, squeals and buzzing reverberated around our bamboo hut. Frogs quacked like ducks and alien creatures called. The geckos were the funniest though. Was it only us? We were convinced they were swearing at us in a very Lily Allen manner. It became clear that the big pooing creature not only had Tourette's syndrome but it was also dwelling with us in our bamboo hut. It swore loudly all night.
The poo appeared five nights out of the six and the gecko (three metres long, I was guessing by the size of its bowel movements) stayed all six. Frankly, I was too scared to look for it but I was damn glad to get out of there alive.
You can listen to the giant, pooing, gecko sharing our hut here: