Mad Hatter or really a writer?

I think I must be a very fickle woman. I flit about between writing and making and while I might concentrate on one at a time, I can’t quite commit fully for ever: when I’m writing, I think I can live without making and vice verse, but eventually I realize I need the other one in my life too. And I dump the one I’m doing for the other. For a bit. ‘Til next time. Fickle, see?

I dumped writing back in February. I flirted a bit with jewellery but my talents didn’t lie with metal; too small (bananas for hands) and too tough (I was a bit scared of the material’s needs (fire!)

As a maker (I have never been very comfortable with the word sculptor. I think perhaps my interest in craft - as opposed to fine art – makes me more comfortable with the notion of being a maker. Though when I did my fine art degree, craft was considered by some, the poor cousin) Anyway, as a maker, I’ve always been materials led but it can’t be any old material. It needs to be right.

As well as being fickle, I’m a courses ‘whore.’ I do LOVE to learn. And after several summers taking Arvon courses (writing) this summer I chose millinery. Long term readers will know that I’ve dabbled in making headwear, though god knows after this summer, I’m a bit embarrassed about them. Still, there’s a learning curve to everything, eh?

Here then, modelled by Daughter, are the two pieces I made during an AWESOME three day workshop with the enormously talented Bridget Bailey, of Bailey Tomlin. See, I’m never writing again; it’s making (hats) all the way from now on…

Friday Photo

In memory

Today is the anniversary of the 2004 Asian Tsunami.

Son and I walked a mile or so down the beach road to Noppharatthara Beach – Phi Phi Islands National Park. Just off the road, through a winding wooden pathway, is a sculpture by Louise Bourgeois to commemorate the tsunami.

I forgot my purse and we brought no water, so when we got back to the hotel we stopped at the bar for a cold drink. The bartender asked me where we had been to get hot and bothered. I told her we had been down to the memorial ... and then she told me she had been working on Phi Phi Island during the tsunami. She said 'I had to run and run; up a hill.'

You can read about my amazing adventures with Andaman Discoveries here here here here and here which has details of the work that has gone into helping people rebuild their lives in the wake of the tragedy.

Making

Friday’s post was well received – thank you. My subconscious went off and dredged up something that I had all but forgotten about.

This is a piece of work I did at the beginning of my final year at Art College. It was photographed by the hugely talented Kris Emmerson, who doubled as a student and technician while I was doing my degree (he went off to the Royal College of Art when he finished his BA).

We had to produce a piece of work to go into some promotional material for our degree show, or the website or something.

And guess what? I was having a creative crisis. This was, though I joke, extremely serious and a horribly bad time to have it. The work for the degree show is hugely important if you want to go on exhibiting, applying for MAs etc. It requires extensive research and development so that the result is as good as it can get. I was fairly certain that I didn’t want to continue – though I loved doing the degree – but I have always been a perfectionist and I wanted to do as well as I could. (Ha, that’s a mature student for you!)

This creative crisis was proper block. I don’t use the word very easily these days because having been there I don’t want to make light of what I experienced. I’ve had all sorts of ‘I’m bored /not motivated/think this stinks’ moments but this block was close to depression (yes, I’ve had that too, so I can make that statement.) For the first time in my life I got close to understanding what faith really meant, and I only knew it because it had gone. In fact I didn’t know I’d had it, until it had gone. It wasn’t a religious faith – it was a faith in myself; my ability and my process.

I couldn’t have told you faith was crucial to my process and ability to make art. I suspect it’s got something to do with writing too, but I’m not sure I’ve been doing that long enough to know if I have it or not. It’s close to confidence (I am SO NOT confident in my creative ability) but not the same thing either.

It’s interesting (to me) because my story is about faith (the non religious type) and I think may have been identified to me as part of my crisis in my last year at art college. So, anyway, I produced this for the promotional photo, and it is very quintessentially me; my work.

And no wonder really that the basket picture on Friday reminded me of my sculpture work. Now I’ve gone and done it, and posted some stuff I’ve made, I thought I might post some more too. Watch this space.