Thursday, May 17, 2007

Plastic Surgery

I apologise for my absence of a few days, but I am feeling a little sorry for myself because on Monday I had plastic surgery!

Well, I went to the plastic surgery department at one of the local hospitals. I had the deeply uncool procedure undertaken of having a verruca lasered out/off my foot. I had tried but failed to bazooka that verruca, then skin specialist lady at the hospital had tried but failed to give it frostbite, three times this failed.

Then I said ‘let’s burn it’.

‘Okay,’ skin specialist lady doctor said, ‘but it hurts; the injection of local anesthetic hurts. It really hurts’. I don’t know how much bedside manner training they give to their doctors here in Thailand, but it’s an interesting approach.

‘I’ve had babies;’ I said ‘it can’t be as bad as that.’

‘It really hurts.’

So I took husband (who isn’t remotely autistic, but who is very funny, clever, sexy, supportive and didn’t faint) because I was scared, even though I knew it couldn’t hurt as much as having babies.

‘OooOOWWwwww, owwWWWWWWWwwWWW.’

‘AaoooooowWWWwoooowwwww. It IS worse than having babies….’

I was worried I might smell cooking flesh (bacon?) but she had a little sucky machine that whooshed all the crackling smells away.

So now, I’ve got a hole the size of the Isle of Wight in my foot.

I am hobbling, so my back hurts where I’m walking funny, and my leg muscles are grumbling about the hunchback like gait I’m inflicting on them.

8 comments:

Lucy Diamond said...

Ouch, ouch, ouch. Sympathy flying over from the UK. Worse than childbirth? That's BAD! (Still, I bet it didn't go on as long, though - did it?!)

Hope your foot recovers soon.

Carol and Chris said...

JJ - You always walk funny....stop blaming the hole in your foot ;-)

C x

Angie said...

Ugh, that sounds horrible, hope you feel better soon!

liz fenwick said...

JJ hope you are feeling better soon! Go easy for a few days!

JJ said...

You're right, Lucy. It didn't last nearly as long. I am such a drama queen, but it did REALLY hurt.

Okay Carol, I was just trying to come across on my blog as normal, rather than as a hunch back with one leg shorter than the other! Thanks for blowing my cover, AGAIN!
;)

Thank you Angie and Liz, it's still sore, but not as bad, though I am slightly concerned that one of my toes has subsequently gone numb...

I'm just a tad nervous about that!

Jen said...

Hmmm. I once worked for a guy who went and had a vasectomy... when he hobbled about, wincing, I had to tell people that he'd had a verruca 'done'.

I'm guessing you haven't... no, silly me.

Hopping you get better soon (groan)

X

JJ said...

Damn it, Jen, now you know ALL my secrets: hunchback and hermaphradite!

Betcha can't wait to meet me, eh?

Are you going to Caroline's launch?

I am actually going to be in the UK then, so am going to go (best friends are in Manchester, so really perfect!)

Carol and Chris said...

Hey - That's what friends are for!!

Cx