Thursday, May 17, 2007

Plastic Surgery

I apologise for my absence of a few days, but I am feeling a little sorry for myself because on Monday I had plastic surgery!

Well, I went to the plastic surgery department at one of the local hospitals. I had the deeply uncool procedure undertaken of having a verruca lasered out/off my foot. I had tried but failed to bazooka that verruca, then skin specialist lady at the hospital had tried but failed to give it frostbite, three times this failed.

Then I said ‘let’s burn it’.

‘Okay,’ skin specialist lady doctor said, ‘but it hurts; the injection of local anesthetic hurts. It really hurts’. I don’t know how much bedside manner training they give to their doctors here in Thailand, but it’s an interesting approach.

‘I’ve had babies;’ I said ‘it can’t be as bad as that.’

‘It really hurts.’

So I took husband (who isn’t remotely autistic, but who is very funny, clever, sexy, supportive and didn’t faint) because I was scared, even though I knew it couldn’t hurt as much as having babies.

‘OooOOWWwwww, owwWWWWWWWwwWWW.’

‘AaoooooowWWWwoooowwwww. It IS worse than having babies….’

I was worried I might smell cooking flesh (bacon?) but she had a little sucky machine that whooshed all the crackling smells away.

So now, I’ve got a hole the size of the Isle of Wight in my foot.

I am hobbling, so my back hurts where I’m walking funny, and my leg muscles are grumbling about the hunchback like gait I’m inflicting on them.


Lucy Diamond said...

Ouch, ouch, ouch. Sympathy flying over from the UK. Worse than childbirth? That's BAD! (Still, I bet it didn't go on as long, though - did it?!)

Hope your foot recovers soon.

Carol and Chris said...

JJ - You always walk funny....stop blaming the hole in your foot ;-)

C x

Angie said...

Ugh, that sounds horrible, hope you feel better soon!

liz fenwick said...

JJ hope you are feeling better soon! Go easy for a few days!

JJ said...

You're right, Lucy. It didn't last nearly as long. I am such a drama queen, but it did REALLY hurt.

Okay Carol, I was just trying to come across on my blog as normal, rather than as a hunch back with one leg shorter than the other! Thanks for blowing my cover, AGAIN!

Thank you Angie and Liz, it's still sore, but not as bad, though I am slightly concerned that one of my toes has subsequently gone numb...

I'm just a tad nervous about that!

Jen said...

Hmmm. I once worked for a guy who went and had a vasectomy... when he hobbled about, wincing, I had to tell people that he'd had a verruca 'done'.

I'm guessing you haven't... no, silly me.

Hopping you get better soon (groan)


JJ said...

Damn it, Jen, now you know ALL my secrets: hunchback and hermaphradite!

Betcha can't wait to meet me, eh?

Are you going to Caroline's launch?

I am actually going to be in the UK then, so am going to go (best friends are in Manchester, so really perfect!)

Carol and Chris said...

Hey - That's what friends are for!!