Autistic spectrum

I wrote some time ago about one of my theories that puddings are an impediment to world peace. I mentioned a couple of other theories at the same time, one being that I believe all men appear somewhere on the autistic spectrum and Ms Melancholy has requested further information on this subject.

Before I post the results of my research, I feel the need to state the nature of my qualification on this academic theorizing. I am eligible to present the results of my findings, having read “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime” and having watched “Rainman.” Finally, I have relationships with various males, all of whom manifest definite signs of autism. This is the extent of my academic qualification (unless you count a Classics degree and a Fine Art degree. But, I should also declare that Husband has been campaigning for me to return my degree certificate to my first university since he claims I remember ‘bog-all’ about the subject and fail to give him any help in pub quizzes on matters relating to Ancient Rome and Ancient Greece!)

When I started preparing this research, I thought I could profile 4 adult men and two children. But the evidence for my argument has proved so overwhelming that I have only the space to profile two adult men. We’ll call them Man1 and Man2.

Neither of these men has ever been diagnosed by anyone except me. Both men look like regular, normally functioning men from the outside. They are very bright, intelligent men who hold down high profile jobs. And yet there are indisputable autistic tendencies discernible.

“Some islets of particular skills or abilities or knowledge”
Man1 and Man2 are excelling in their fields. Did you know that the name ‘idiot savant’ was originally applied to the autistic syndrome? ‘Idiot’, needs no explanation, but ‘savant’ comes from the French verb savoir, ‘to know’ which refers to the extraordinary skills of some autistic people.

“Pre-occupation with particular objects”
Man1 has an abnormal preoccupation with all things music. He has secret and not-so secret stashes of cds all over the house. Please see small sample pictorial evidence, right. He has embraced the Ipod, but nonetheless demonstrates extreme emotional dependency on hoarding cds and purchasing secretly. Fifteen years of mouldy and unreadable NME (New Musical Express) magazines had to be pried from his possession because they were unreadable. Man1 was saving them because he might “need to look something up” one day.

Man2 exhibits interesting ‘total immersion hobbies’. This requires that he regularly discovers frenzied passions for new hobbies; he swears they are life-long obsessions and purchases all the equipment. He throws himself into each new activity: golf, scuba diving, skiing, etc.


“Seems to prefer playing alone — retreats into his or her ‘own world’”
Man1 spends many hours compiling cds for his friends. He plans this very carefully and writes out draft play-lists and then neatly (in his serial killer handwriting) copied-up final versions. See pictorial evidence.

Man2’s latest hobby has required less financial output than his usual pursuits: origami. Please see pictorial evidence. He demonstrates extreme anxiety when he discovers he is out without small or medium squares of foldable paper.









“Abnormal perceptual experience and failure to develop speech beyond a very limited level”
Wives of Man1 and Man2 have reported an almost complete inability to communicate face to face. Both men resort to sending emails and sms messages, even while sitting next to wives on the sofa during a film, or in offices along the landing.

“Appears not to hear you at times”
Oh, come on, how many men do you know to which this doesn’t apply?