Tonight I fly to the UK.
I have peeled off all my plotted post it notes from my big piece of card and stuck them together. By rights, I shouldn’t be here talking about it. I said I wouldn’t, but I think I’ve got to talk about My Problem. Or maybe Problems.
I’m not writing. I am thinking, but mostly about why I’m not writing. I know what I want to write but when I try to do it I don’t or can’t. I wondered if perhaps I didn’t know how to get there, so I planned to plot. I talked about plotting; I cleared my desk and completed my other jobs. I bought some new stationery. And for a few hours I did plot onto a big piece of card that won’t fit into the ‘allowed to check a bag this big’ space they have at the check in desks.
So. What am I to do? I have two and a half weeks of 2/3 days in any one place and seeing people we haven’t seen for a year or so. Will I have a chance to write? Should I write about that instead? Should I continue to try and plot so that when I get back I can write?
I want to tell you that I plan to have a break from blogging BUT I think that may be a lie… I’m not sure that I can. I may be lurking…
I think that what I need is to have permission not to do any writing/plotting/thinking about writing or plotting. I don’t know where this will lead, but thinking about it hasn’t worked, so now I’m going to try not to think about it.
I may blog so do continue to look in on me, but it may be a bit sporadic too.