Wednesday, February 27, 2008


I must be nicer.
I must be nicer.
I must be nicer.

I like the word nice – maybe not to use in writing – but it says what I mean. I am a nice person; not perfect, but mostly I am nice, in a kind of bland and average way.

I’m no Mother Teresa but nor am duplicitous. I try not to judge too quickly and if I do, I try to give people a chance, even a second chance. I sit uncomplainingly next to the mad aunt at the wedding or the neighbour with halitosis. I’m kind.

Today I’m sick. I have been since Sunday evening. I’ve only got a rotten cold, but I feel crappy. Add to that that a chronic grumbly belly that I finally went to the docs about and returned with three different tablets. I feel horrid.

Today in Bangkok it’s hot. It’s always hot in Bangkok and most days I need air con in my office. Today I need it, but it’s also too cold all at the same time so I am wearing a moth holey cashmere jumper that was so expensive (despite being a sale item) I refuse to get rid of it (Can you see the holes from there? No, well I’m not offending anyone then.) I am – and this is a first in Thailand even for me – wearing sheepskin slippers that I bought in the UK. They are delicious; comforting and like eating chocolate.

That’s how I know I’m sick. So why, if I know I am sick, am I being so horrible to myself?

I must be nicer to myself.

When I am well again I will decide if I can’t write for toffee; if I am going to give up trying to write a book. Not yet.


Flowerpot said...

Of course you cna write but when you're feeling lousy nothing makes sense does it. Be gentle with yourself - cossetting and spoiling is what's needed. Take care!

Lucy Diamond said...

Awwww, hope you feel better soon. Go back to bed, that's my advice!

SueG said...

You take care of yourself! If it makes you feel any better, it seems half of London has the flu, too. But on the subject of being nice, I'll leave you with one of my favourite quotations. It's from Mash (the tv series, not the movie). "It's nice to be nice to the nice." Words to live by...:)

Lane said...

That's the spirit gal. Go easy on yourself:-) and get well soon x

JJ said...

Flowerpot, thank you and I'm trying but for some reason I do 'like' to beat myself up.

Lucy, bed. Yes, thanks. Bed and book. Now.

Sue, Thank you. I always feel rather cross getting a cold in hot weather!

Lane, am trying. Thanks.

Pacha said...

Be nice and gentle to yourself. If it helps pretend you are the neighbour with halitosis (or even a mad aunt).

Take care of yourself. Give yourself a couple of days break. Go to bed. Sleep, sleep, sleep! Hope the belly thing clears up soon too. Lots of hugs and warm/cold (delete as appropriate) wishes from over here.

Leigh said...

Have a large drink and forget about writing (completely) until you are better. Don't even think about it. Big hugs.

Debs said...

I like the sound of your slippers and hope you feel much better soon. You'll feel more like writing when you don't feel so ill.

Angie said...

Oh do be nice to yourself. Some tea and chocolate and soup in bed ought to cheer you up, and maybe a little pampering from the family.

And don't give up on the writing. You CAN do it.

Feel better,
-Ang xx