Thursday, February 22, 2007

A bit crap... a bit pathetic again.

Mmm, I’m having a bit of a crisis of confidence here.

Not sure if I should blog about it or not.

I’ve been trying to plan better, so that I really feel I know the characters and how they feel about each other, and know (to begin with at least) roughly what scenes I’m going to need. But it just isn’t really happening. Maybe it’s that the story isn’t right? Maybe it’s because the kids are home for half term? Maybe I’m trying to do too much, and doing rubbish at all of them. Problem is I’m committed to everything else, and I really want to do this.

Maybe it’s because I’m crap and have no imagination?

Husband asked if the race helped or hindered. I think helps: I would have given up again if it weren't for the race...

I don’t know what to do.

Go away and read, and think, and stop worrying perhaps.


Caroline said...

If you've planned and have character outlines etc - and don't know where to start/ how to find the voice/ how to get past a certain part - well I step back, take the character out of the story and imagine them in a place (like his grandmother's bathroom) and start writing by letting him describe what he can see. It's different writing, but still connected.

The key is to write. Just write and don't worry about how good it is - ignore those voices.

If it helps - at the moment I am at the 'why am I bothering, this is shit' stage. But I know that if I an get through this ...

Take a step back, but still write. Stop letting those voices shout.


Nice monkey ;-)

liz fenwick said...

aroline is sooooooooo right. Just right. it may well be crap but you can deal with it later. Just write. Set a timer and write for twenty works.....see what happens

Helen said...

Please don't listen to those voices saying you can't write. I get them too as does everyone, I think, but they are not very loud at the moment as, to be frank, I don't care! I'm just doing something I love and I'm taking great pleasure from that. If you enjoy writing then write.

I’m no expert and I’m not published so you don’t have to listen to me, but if you enjoy doing something and want to do something (and it’s legal!) – Why stop?!!

PS Your blog is always enjoyable to read so you do have that ability both to write and to entertain!

JJ said...


Thank you. I've gone direct to your blog and left a message for you there.

Thanks for your kind words, and -published schmuplished - of course you're right!


Helen said...

JJ - thanks for leaving your message on my blog. I have replied although have been a tad long winded. I hope you get the gist of what I am saying!

hesitant scribe said...

Hi there - keep going! I have those voices all the time, but have decided to think of crafting a novel like you'd craft an oil painting... first draft is just a rough sketch of what you want to achieve. You musn't let yourself start fiddling at this stage!

Try not to lose heart either. It's just that horrid little voice that tells us it's crap, and what does it know?! That little voice is the reason I've waited 37 years to get past the first 2,000 words of any novel... the reason I have about 35 short stories rotting away in drawers unfinished because I lost heart in the ideas. And they were good ideas when I look back on them now!

Stephen King says keep going - ignore the voice - don't re-read any further than the last page - until you reach your target word count, and give yourself permission to write total rubbish -that's what drafting is all about!

Good luck.

JJ said...

Hello everyone

Thank you all for your support over my crisis (again). I can't promise it won't happen again, but I am working on it!

What I can say for definite is that were it not for this race, I would have given up AGAIN. So I hugely, hugely appreciate your all being there, taking the time to read my blog and comment supportively.

I've taken the couple of days off (daughter's birthday, crisis-Friday) but have been thinking about the column I've been approached to write, the first of which is due in the next ten days, so it hasn't been wasted time. I've always felt strongly and been aware that my subconcious does lots of thinking for me (honestly, I wish it would do it all!) so I'm sure that novel work has been done there too.

I've also been thinking about the process of what happens to me when this paralysis sets in. This will (cheerfully!) be my next posting. I experienced it when I was an art student, so I'm attempting to learn each time!

Long winded way of saying thank you my lovlies for your support.