Saturday, February 03, 2007

Dithering

Okay I appear to be committed now. I think.

No, I am committed; but I’m still terrified. You can see I haven’t even said out loud on my profile that I want to write a novel. Saying it isn’t good enough, I know, I know.

I’m here because I really want to write, not think or procrastinate: not stand teetering on the edge, saying in a squeaky voice ‘I want to write a novel…

I’m not sure if I can think in terms of how many words I‘m aiming for. I just want to start writing it. If I can begin then maybe in time I can think about naming a number of words.

I’ve been checking in on you all since the race started. First I made a blog, then I dithered some more, and then I left a drippy note for Kate ‘ooooh, not sure I’m a serious enough player for this race’ but actually, that’s just more avoidance. She called my bluff and said ‘join in’. I thought she might write back and say ‘you’re right, you just don’t sound grown up and serious enough for this race.’

So hello fellow racers. Sorry I didn’t get to the coffee yesterday, but I’m in Bangkok and seven hours ahead of you. With the time difference perhaps it means I’ll be there first next week! I’ll put the kettle on.

7 comments:

liz fenwick said...

Looking forward to hearing your progress next week :-)

Caroline said...

Right I'm here - any chance of a cuppa?????
Come on ... write away. Like you I started out wanting to write a novel and was too scared to say the words aloud. But if you don't, well if you don't then there's no point. So write and know that we're all racing along (or backwards) together.
So hello to you and enjoy writing. Now. You got any biscuits???
Cx

Helen said...

Hey JJ. You do sound very similar to me in terms of this writing malarky. I have felt like I have wanted to write for ages and ages and like my profile says I didn't have the confidence, I still don't, but if I don't do it - to use an old cliche - I'll regret it!

I joined the race just under two weeks ago and it has done wonders for my word count. I even feel like a proper writer as it has added structure to my day. Fellow racers now feel like work colleagues that I am just getting to know.

So - Get Writing! The best piece of advice I have heard so far is that the first draft you write will probably be very rough and ready. But the key is just to get it down. You can improve it on the 2nd and 3rd drafts. That's what they are for! Helenx

JJ said...

Hello

There's ludicrous over excitement here at Camp tea-stains for having some comments (not from husband). Thank you all for your support and lovely words. I have woken up feeling very positive today, and have already been to my chapter plan and done some work, and gone to my character plans and feel as though I'm getting to know them better.

You're all correct; it's such a waste to want something so badly and not do because you're scared.

I have a very strong demon that sits on my shoulder and tells me I'm a totally crap writer. I have to work very hard to control him, but I read somewhere recently (can't remember where) that you need him too - he has his place as an eventual critic, but what you can't do is let him STOP you writing. Well, I have in the past, but NOT any more.

With tea and banana cake, and novel racing, I can do it. So, no, Caroline, sorry no biscuits, but you're all welcome to a piece of banana cake? It's moist and gorgeous...

Thanks, and all the best to you all too.

Caroline said...

Go girlie!
That's great news.
I have that demon too. Just last night I was giving up writing forever and ever and I can't tell you the amount of times that I nearly deleted In Search of Adam.
Be true to what you desire and have fun along the way. Feed the demon banana cake and keep him happy ;-)

x

jenny said...

Hello!

Hey, it's brilliant that you've joined in. It's scary enough telling yourself that you want to write a novel, letting alone confessing it to 'real' people!!

I think that nervousness gives writing a slight edge - a touch of fragility perhaps?

Anyway... pass the cake!! Mmmmmm...

Jen x

JJ said...

Hi Jen and Caroline (again)

It is scary isn't it? But it's odd because I'm not normally as pathetic a creature as I've painted here. Normally, I'm strong and confident, but this desire to write reduces me to a trembling wet. Still this definitely helps, even though I know there will be tough times ahead. JJ x