Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Stuff in my head

Okay so that wasn’t too bad. Thank you to all commentators. I was regretting it when Husband texted me to say there was a grammatical error in it. I do worry about those errors that I can’t see. I’m not dyslexic at all, but I really can’t see them. Is there any advice about that? Easier to read on paper? Double-spaced? The Reading Layout? Rachel’s advice has been taken – they were redundant words – and I’m going to have a think about SueG’s and Lane’s.

Yesterday was the beginning of my ‘one day at a time approach’ and I’m not going to be a mean and nasty bully to myself. I posted my opening: this is brave. I’m very frightened about showing anyone any fiction as I think I can’t write fiction. I have no imagination, see? So no, I didn’t write loads more on the book, but I did finish an article I’d been writing – which is WRITING. I sent that off. I hope it was okay because I had a big, fat, looming deadline of 5pm.

Today I was going to get writing again and I will but I’m later than I hoped. I can’t stop sleeping… Could it still be jetlag? In a minute I’m going to get showered, dressed and make another cup of tea and then I’m going to write the next paragraph. Yes, that’s all I’m aiming for: a paragraph at a time.

My tummy is in a knot because there’s Stuff Happening and Being Discussed about our Future. The reason I have a knot in my tummy is because no-one talks to me about our Future. Husband tells me what’s being proposed but the powers that be at work aren’t interested in what I think. Our contract runs out in July; the company has recently been taken over and Son begins GCSEs in Autumn term ’08 so we have to know where we are for the next two years. I wish I could be as cavalier as Son. Really, the company … no big company is that interested in such things – our family life. They only tolerate us (Me and the kids) because they want Husband to do his stuff. I can’t say anymore until … well until someone deigns to tell us once and for all what’s going on.

I’m showered, dressed and the tea is stewing brewing so there’s no more prevaricating to be done.


Leatherdykeuk said...

I think you have a great writing style; very easy on the voice in my head.

Caroline said...

I really hope that you have answers soon. Some would see your life as one big adventure, but I understand your anxiety. I hope the decisions take you where you can all be happy.


Helen said...

I think you were incredibly brave to post your opening yesterday, I wouldn't dare - yet. (I thought it was good too).
Good luck with everything coming up, it's hard when you have no control over things. x

Yvonne said...

You can write JJ. This isn't me being nice. You have a vivid imagination and your voice deserves to be heard.

There's no way this is the same thing, but every July my partner and I go through the will-they won't-they dance before his company give him a new contract. With the down-turn this year I'm extra nervous...but if I didn't have that to worry about it would be something else!

Carol and Chris said...

I'm very glad to see you posting about the fact that you are writing - it might not always be novel writing but it's still writing (and being creative!!).

I hope they make a decision one way or the other soon hon (and am keeping my fingers crossed that you will be staying!!) - it's really not fair that they are keeping you dangling!!

C x

K.Imaginelli said...

Hope you get the answers you need soon, JJ.

I like what you said about one day at a time, and one paragraph at a time. I'll try to remember that today.

JJ said...

Thanks Rachel - and for the advice yesterday.

Caroline, thanks. It IS an adventure but it's real life too and sometimes you have to know what you're doing.

Helen, Thanks. Brave or stupid? Well, it's done and I did a bit of writing today ... so only our Future to worry about now.

Yvonne, thanks hon. It does help calm my neurosis to hear that! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you too then.

Carol, ah, thanks honey, that's down to your pep talk the other day!

KI, thank you. It's the only way I can go for now: one plod at a time...

sheepish said...

You do write well your blog posts prove it, so keep it up and in no time at all you will have the first page!!!!! Only kidding you have made a big leap forwards by posting your opening so it can only get easier. Well done you and I hope your future is sorted soon.

JJ said...

Oh Sheepish, you're not wrong though. A joke maybe, but how slow am I?