Sunday, October 26, 2008

Rrrrrrhhhhh

I’ve sometimes said on various invite-only blogs, that I envy the freedom of speech on private blogs. Of course I could just open myself up a private blog but it’s too easily done.

There have been times when I haven’t been able to say here – on my space – what I really wanted to say because the people who’ve caused the anxiety read my blog. And even when they’ve made me feel crap, I actually don't want to hurt them in return: I don’t seek vengeance for myself. (Upset my husband or my children, and I’ll post dog sh*t through your door - s’okay, I’ll only talk about it, I’ve never actually done it! However, I could tell you the people who’ve made me want to do it.) Upset me and I want to explode and shout and scream; not as revenge but as a total lack of control and then, when I cool down I'm mortified. I have, I think, finally learned not to act in haste, but to wait, wait, wait, wait and then, finally, wait a bit more. It’s not growing up that’s made me learn this, it’s because I really hate having to apologise for overreacting after I’ve cooled down.

I shouldn’t blog today but this is my space. There’s something bothering me that’s been posted, in response I believe, to something I’ve said, that’s put my nose out of joint. I guess one runs that risk if one’s blog is open but it’s still disappointing.

I am going to give the benefit of the doubt this time.

14 comments:

Cathy said...

Hugs.

Don't know what has upset you, but hope you can just ignore it and move on.

Cx

sheepish said...

Sorry to hear that someone is causing you grief. It's probably down to jealousy, if it happens again go for the dog s***t approach and to hell with the consequences.

JJ said...

Hey thanks Cathy. It's not serious, I've just had a really difficult few days with Husband feeling so awful, and my tolerance is a little low.

Sheepish, it's really not on the dog s**t scale, but thank you - I will bear it in mind.

Debs said...

It's horrible when something happens that drives you nuts but you can't react.

SpiralSkies said...

Retaliation is never the answer, even when something makes you want to yowl with the utter bloody unfairness of it all.

Online disputes are worse than real ones; ugly and less easily buffed over when the moment has passed.

Paige said...

Eek! It's really frustrating when you REALLY want to say something on your blog but you know you can't because of many reasons.

I've done the 'not saying anything' posts and the 'saying something' posts when I need to - neither is satisfying. Hence the private blog but even there I still find it hard to post sometimes.

I hope the person who has upset you feels ashamed of themselves!

If it helps, write down on a bit of paper how you feel and rip it up into tiny pieces! That way you can 'voice' your thoughts and then take out your anger/frustration on the bit of paper?

Keep smiley and I hope your hubby feels better soon!

Caroline said...

I SO understand this! My husband keeps giving my lectures about getting upset by things I read in blogs.

x

Lane said...

Things like that can sting but I hope you can let it wash over you. Easier said than done when you've had a fraught few days.

{{hugs}} x

Carol and Chris said...

Oh hon I'm so so sorry someone has upset you so much.

You've had a crappy few days and that was the last thing you needed.

I had an e-mail on Saturday morning which I'm furious about and I can't blog about it....can't even speak to the person I'm so mad...so I can empathise with how your feeling!!

C x

JJ said...

Debs, I think maybe I'm not being very grown up about it. It's best left alone, I think.

Spiral, Oh so very grown up words. I think you are a very wise woman.

Paige, it is. I think your advice to write it down and then tear it up is very good.

Caroline, I too easily upset, I think.

Lane, thank you. I think it is the fraught days really, rather than their words.

Carol, I'm sorry I was a whining woman today. I hope I didn't depress you further.

B said...

People always deserve the benefit of the doubt once. If that abuse that again, well at least you know where you stand.

Sometimes, though, being grown up/the bigger person is really maddening.

I hope you have someone to vent to. Getting these things off your chest is important.

B said...

they abuse that, not that abuse that. Sorry.

Carol and Chris said...

We whined together....that's what friends are for!! It was lovely seeing you :-)

C x

wordtryst said...

Totally understand. I've had to remove a post because I wrote about a friend who upset me and then he asked the way to my blog.