Thursday, January 03, 2008

Daddy? Or Chips?

I’ve got a problem.

It’s been apparent for some time but I’ve made excuses for it.

I’m married to a laid back man; No, no, that’s not the problem, though sometimes being so laid back you’re horizontal IS a pain in the backside. I’m sure I’m not easy to live with for a multitude of reasons, but last night I really irritated him. We were in a Mexican restaurant and I just couldn’t decide what to order.

It occurred to me that I have huge problems making decisions. I’m having problems making decisions in my plot and I have problems every meal deciding what to eat. Even when I can work out what to eat I nearly always get neighbour food envy, so I’m clearly making lots of wrong decisions. Today, I tried to work out what I could’ve done differently, so as not to have irritated Husband.

When I googled ‘how to make decisions’ I got 23,700,000 hits in .13 seconds: there must be lots of other people just like me unable to decide anything in their lives. One of the websites told me ‘Making decisions can be intimidating and time-consuming.’ That’s right, I wanted to yell. It’s difficult to choose between the enchilada and the burritos… what’s the difference?

That brought me to the first point on the ‘how to make decisions’ website. Assess what choices you have? Well, I wanted a floppy tortilla, which ruled out the chimichanga, the tacos and the quesadilla, but what about the fajitas? Do I need to worry about them? No, you have to assemble them yourself don’t you? I wanted all my food ready to eat.

Another piece of advice on the website was to collect as much information about the choices as possible. The list of ingredients was pretty much the same: both were served with refried beans and rice. One was two small enchiladas, and the other one was a single burrito; both had guacamole and sour cream on top. What could the difference be apart from the size?

Then the advice suggests that you get the experience that will help you to come to a decision, so I asked Husband: what’s the difference? “I dunno”, he said, “that one’s two small ones and that one’s one big one.” So I went onto the next piece of guidance: make a list of pros and cons for each decision. Well, actually, I think Husband would’ve been quite rightly pissed off at this stage, had I asked him for a pen and a piece of paper.

In the end after a bit of huffing and puffing he chose for me. I felt a bit sick about this, and wondered if I’d lost my appetite by then. The point is, I’ve always been able to make decisions in the past; as a mum I must’ve made thousands … is it like eggs? Do they get old and crappy after a while? Maybe only get a finite number of decisions in your life and then after that you loose your decision making ability?

What ever it is, I really have got to learn to do it.


CC Devine said...

I get neighbour food envy all the time even though generally I'm quite decisive.

It was a tough call: enchilada or burritos. I understand your indecision :)

Kate.Kingsley said...


Reminds me of Billy Connolly's skit about Mexican foood ~ the only difference between dishes is the way it's folded....

I can never decide what to eat either. Or wear. or read. or watch on tv..... Ho hum.

Pacha said...

I have this same problem.

This exact same problem.

Although I am bossy and like to think that I have firm grip on who I am and what I like.

But I have always flapped. Flapping is part of who I am.


And I annoy my husband (but for many other reasons too...and he annoys me but I won't drag you into our domestic discordance, it's boring).

I PRETEND to ask my husband to order for me because he would know what I would like and what might be good (being a chef and all) but the truth of the matter is that choices and making decisions can make me cry.

It's soooooo difficult and no-one (but you apparently!) understands!

Yvonne said...

LOL! Great post!

JJ said...

CC, thank you. Husband does not understand... I did enjoy the burritos in the end, but feel I should go back to the restaurant to try the enchiladas ... just in case Husband made the wrong choice!

Kate, NO? Did he? well, that's it then. That's where when I collected my information I should've been told to stop worrying it's just that they're folded differently!

Oh, Pacha, me too. I pretend Husband can choose either so I avoid nieghbour food envy or because he knows more exciting dishes than I do from the Thais at work. Really, it's because I can't work out what I want.

Yvonne, (still getting used to this real name thingy...) ah, thank you, but it's a terrible trial in one's life!


Carol and Chris said...

Kate I thought of the Billy Connolly skit too!!

God I hate ordering food in restaurants and quite often still haven't decided what to have when the waitress comes over - then I feel harassed and just blurt out the first thing that comes into my head (that's on the menu obviously!!).

I have noticed that I only really have massive indecision when I'm with I'm going to go right ahead and say that obviously it's all his fault!!!

C x

Leigh said...

I can relate to this, JJ. When we get a rare night out, himself wants it to be special for me, so he lets me decide where we're going. Like you, I spend all day every day making decisions, and for a special night out all I want to do is not have to make any decisions!

Mel said...

That post made me laugh out loud :-D Firstly my husband is one of those so laid back he's horizontal, and the neighbour food envy - without fail I will always want what my husband has ordered so I'll complain "Why didn't you order that for me?" but then if I get him to order for me I'll see what those people at the next table have and wish I had that instead!! I always blame it on being a Libran - venus makes me indecisive damn it!!

sheepish said...

Just a thought, if your novel is anything like the writing on your blog it will be hilarious, but if it's serious it will still be good because you have such a way with words. Make sure you get back to your wip soon as we have a race to run!!!!
I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure!!!!!!

Lane said...

lol!! I think Mel has hit on something there. It's a Libran thing. As your birthday twin I have exactly the same problem. I'm a nightmare to shop with as I'll dither for ages over two items costing 50p. Funnily enough though the more trivial the decision, the more I dither. Big stuff? No problem!

And I love the post title. I remember that advert:-)

Angie said...

Great post, JJ. I have big decision-making problems too, but randomly. Some days I know *exactly* what I want, but others I get so frustrated with trying to decide that I throw my hands down in defeat and declare that I will not eat at all. Luckily husband steps in when that happens. ;) (And I'm an Aries, I'm supposed to be decisive, darn it! It's a daily-decision-making buildup-problem, methinks.)

KeVin K. said...

I think this loss of abiolity to decide is a function of marriage. The good news is, it's symetrical, so the two of you can get through life together. For example: In our household, my wife lost the ability to chose food in a resaurant and I lost the ability to tell which tie goes with which shirt and jacket (or even whether that shirt and jacket should be torgether). She gets me dressed, I get her fed and we make it through the evening.