Saturday, September 06, 2008

Give me a slap

I’m feeling pitifully sorry for myself today. I need a good slap because it’s not life and death but nonetheless I’m feeling wretched.

It started on Friday evening. Daughter was at a sleepover with four friends; Son was watching TV and Husband had braved the tropical rain storm to get home for his last phone meeting of the week.

Through the wall I could hear Husband on the conference call – him talking loudly as though to someone slightly stupid and the tinny voices of his colleagues from the speaker phone. I was finishing off Two Caravans when the email bleeped red on my Blackberry.

Every time the thought had entered my head that the writing course might be jeopardised by the political unrest here I gave it a firm whack away. It would be fine, I said, it’s in Koh Chang not in Bangkok.

Yesterday the news came: The Literary Consultancy has taken the decision to cancel the course. I’d tried so hard not to think this might happen but at the same time I understand. If I were in the UK thinking of coming to a country under a State of Emergency... well, I don't think I would.

Lovely Husband is telling me to go anyway… it's all in the diary, got everything in place at home - have a break, he says, but I don’t need a break – I need a writing course.

See, I just need a good slap for being a spoilt and selfish.


Leigh said...

Ooooh Nooooo! How heartbreaking. I understand exactly how you feel. It is not spoiled and selfish to be anguished about loosing something you were looking forward to. I would feel just the same. Oh, Big Big Hugs.

JJ said...

Thanks Leigh. I am really sad today. I've got past the point of spontaneously bursting into tears when anyone mentions it, but I'm still welling up a bit. I can't decide what to do instead ... if anything other than stay here and try to write.

SueG said...

No - you don't need a slap, you need a hug! I'm so sorry this happened. So frustrating, I know. And of course, it's not just a holiday you need, it's something to help your work move forward. And those are 2 different things. Here's an idea...what if you still took yourself away somewhere, some nice little hotel on your own, and you used it as a chance to write. I;ve done that a couple of times, and although it's weird going to a hotel yourself, it did really help. Just a's a virtual hug from me.

Calistro said...

Ooh noooooo! :o( I don't blame you for being disappointed. I'd be gutted. Aw, JJ that sucks ((((hugs)))

Debs said...

I'm not surprised you're miserable, what disappointing news.

I would be upset too.


KAREN said...

That's SO disappointing, you're not being selfish at all. Can you book something similar at short notice?? Do try and get away anyway, though :o)

SpiralSkies said...

It's not selfish or spoiled - you were looking forward to it, a ticket to boost your writing oomph. You're bound to be disappointed.

How about going to the hotel, armed with some writing exercises and NO internet?

Lane said...

That's a damn old shame. Might it be postponed until the situation settles down there? Not much comfort though, I know.
Echoing the others, why not go away, baton down the hatches and write anyway. x

Lane said...

that would be batten of course. Doh!

Paige said...

I won't slap you! No wonder you're feeling sad! I'm sorry to hear it's been cancelled. It's horrible when something like that happens!


JJ said...

Thanks everyone for your lovely comments.

They have got an Easter course but I just don't know if I can do that one because we may have friends here. It's not firm yet ... so I may ... but it's not a dead cert.

I've decided, on waking up Sunday morning, that I just gotta get on and write... no more feeling sorry for myself. THEN, when I've got a mss, i will consider spending the money on a critique!

Nearly back to normal. Hopefully no more weeping (I have terrible bags from last night's episode: it's so not worth it when you get to a certain age!)

Caroline said...

:( that's not nice at all. You don't need a slap, you need a hug.

Come to the UK instead and come to my launch. See, simple :)


Zinnia Cyclamen said...

Late to this - but so sorry; I know how much you were looking forward to it. Do you think there's a TLC/Novel Racers' jinx? Why not use the time to write, write, write and make your word count zoom upwards? That would enhance the cheer-up programme no end.

JJ said...

Oh Caroline, you've no idea ... but that was mentioned. I don't think I can face the flight though. Sorry honey.

Zinnia, I hope not! For both of us.

L-Plate Author said...

Oh I echo Caroline's thoughts entirely, come to Blighty.

Oh I know it's not possible but I would love to see you again x